I recently providing some training for a large employer who had just been through a restructuring process where a number of staff had been given feedback that their roles had been made redundant. For many of us, this is our worst nightmare and takes us well outside of our comfort zones. This announcement therefore obviously had a significant impact on staff. One of the most significant of these impacts related to the fact that many of these individuals started to question their value and their own self-worth after being told their jobs were surplus to requirements. Instead interpreting this message as “YOU” are surplus to requirements.
It’s often difficult to tease apart “who we are”, from “what we do” and many of us hold the view that they are one in the same thing. But we need to recognise that although these things are linked, the duties we do in our job everyday does not equal our full identity.
So how do we recognise our value and tap into our ability to move forward.
1. Understand your value by understanding your Values.
We all have our own values, beliefs and attitudes that we have developed throughout the course of our lives.
Our family, friends, community and the experiences we’ve had all contribute to our sense of who we are and how we view the world.
We need to be aware of our own personal values, beliefs and attitudes to determine what resources we can tap into.
So make a list of your values and then consider what action you could take right now to move forward. For example if one of your values is to have great relationships, how could you use this to both draw on the support of others and perhaps use friends and relationships for networking possibilities?
2. Recognise your Strengths
Write down your top 3 strengths and again consider how you could use these strengths to understand your current value and move yourself forward.
3. Have you ever written a bucket list?
A bucket list is a list of all the things you want to do before you “kick the bucket”. My list usually consists of all the exciting destinations I want to see before I die. I want to see an elephant herd in the wild in Africa, I want to see Portofino in Italy and I want to go on a cruise through the beautiful coastal waters off Croatia.
We all have a list, even if it’s not on paper. We often stare off into space, dreaming of the things we want to do and see. We spend a lot of time dreaming of all the things we want to do in the future. But do we spend enough time recognising all the achievements in our past.
We could consider writing a “Reverse Bucket List”.
We need to remind ourselves of what we are capable of. This might include visualising past successes you have had (the bunch of flowers from your manager thanking you for your extra effort, the email from a staff member or client thanking you, that promotion you achieved, or perhaps running that marathon, losing weight, surviving a difficult relationship). Just knowing that something is possible makes it less threatening when we consider the challenges we have in front of us.
To get yourself started writing your “Reverse Bucket List”, consider all the things of note that you have done in the past. What have you done that you are most proud of? What successes have you had personally and professionally? Make note of your accomplishments, any special notes of thanks you have received etc. Don’t be shy, write it down. My Nana used to say: “Michelle, if you don’t blow your own trumpet, somebody else will use it as their spittoon”.
4. Consider it as an opportunity to build your Mental Toughness
Recognising your self-worth by tapping into Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence (the 4Cs of Mental Toughness), is a great opportunity to consider managing your emotional response, committing to dedicated action, getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and assessing your current state of self-confidence.
So go on, spend some time recognising your own value. Maybe, just maybe, it will give you a new appreciation for all that hard work, dedication and effort you have put in over the years.
Want to know more about recognising your own value, building self-worth and self-confidence? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to enquire about leadership and / or wellness coaching.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Leadership and Wellness Coach and Speaker / Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness Practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or email@example.com