Let’s be honest – we can all get trapped in a negative space and fall “below the line”. After all this is actually normal and natural and our body and brain’s default position is to ensure our safety and look for anything that might threaten us. So, we focus on problems, get frustrated and look at all the negative things that are happening in our lives.
So how can we actively refocus ourselves on being back “above the line” and consider how we can take responsibility, look at the options we actually have, think of the possibilities and solutions that we could consider.
We need to recognise that we have a line of intent that exists in our lives. You can always ask yourself the hard questions and consider where that line is sitting and how you are choosing to operate in your life. Just take a moment for a bit of a personal audit. How is your personal health and wellbeing? Are you operating below or above the line? What about your finances? What about a personal relationship, someone that’s close to you? Are you above or below the line?
Do you intuitively know when you are above the line or below the line?
Recognising when you are below the line
We need to be able to recognise when we are below the line or heading in that direction.
Fear – this is when we tend to withdraw from situations or people and retreat. What we in fact need to do is push for the connection. Lean in… connect to the thing you are afraid of rather than run away.
Anger – when we are angry, we tend to separate ourselves from others and firmly put ourselves into isolation or containment and reject and push judgment onto others. But instead, how can we take responsibility and break down walls and barriers between yourself and others.
Pride – this is arguably still below the line behavior. In deep pride we take responsibility for our own or someone else’s success. But how can we actually think of ourselves less. Humility is the key to pride and we have the opportunity to focus on gratitude for others.
Blame – we look instinctively for someone or something to blame for a situation. How can we remove this focus and look at opportunities to take responsibility for a situation and in fact what we could learn from a “failure” which will give us an opportunity for growth.
Recognising when you are above the line
Problem solving – we often get so bogged down by ruminations of what went wrong and how bad it is, rather than focus on how we could actually solve the problem.
Are we like this….
Or are we like this….
How can we focus ourselves on solving the problem rather than the problem itself.
Courage – when we are above the line, we are much more courageous. We recognise that when we step outside our comfort zones, we have this amazing opportunity to experience growth. So…Let go and grow
Acceptance – We can be very judgmental when it comes to individual differences. Acceptance is the opposite of anger – when we approach every situation with compassion we replace judgement with acceptance. So… how can you replace judgement with compassion
Love – this is our opportunity to develop greatness in others. If you are struggling to know the right way to manage an interaction you can ask yourself a basic question. I know it sounds a bit corny, but ask yourself “what would love do?”. If you ask this question, it will immediately set you on the right track.
So think of a situation that is giving you some issues at present. Ask yourself right now “Am I Above The Line?” If you’re not, then how could you get there?
Want to know more about getting back above the line? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org to enquire about coaching to build your personal strategies.